What's so difficult about apology?
One reason is that people don't know how to apologize. They fear making things even worse.
Effective Apology is a guidebook to apology. The goal is to get leaders to do the right thing the first time. Frequently, the right thing is acknowledging mistakes, taking responsibility for errors, and apologizing. This book tells you how.
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From the Introduction:
Apology is the bravest conversation we can have with ourselves
There’s nothing easy about apology. From John Edwards to Eliot Spitzer, JetBlue to Abu Gharib, Sharon Stone to Pete Rose, at some point everyone needs to apologize. The news is filled with examples of leaders apologizing, needing to apologize, or failing miserably at the attempt. And certainly we all have occasion to apologize ourselves—maybe more often than we realize. But we don’t need more apologies—we need better ones. Too many people just go through the motions, trying to apologize on the cheap. They completely miss tapping into the transformative power of apology to restore strained relationships, create possibilities for growth, and generate better outcomes for all.
Effective Apology challenges you to think about the fundamental value and importance of apology to both you and the receiver as it delivers detailed advice for making a wholehearted apology, one that truly heals and renews. The book explores the Five Rs of wholehearted apology: Recognize the wrong and the person harmed; accept moral Responsibility for your actions and consequences; express Remorse; provide meaningful Restitution; and offer assurance that the offense will not be Repeated. Making apology work in the real world—when and how to apologize, in what medium, and how to make it stick—is made clear through over seventy examples of good and bad apologies drawn from the news, popular culture, and the experiences of the author, his clients, and his friends.
Apology is no longer a sign of weakness or defeat. Indeed, the willingness to apologize signals strength, character, and integrity. Effective leadership is impossible without effective apology. It is an expression of accountability, transparency, and humility. Crafting and delivering a confident apology is in your self-interest as a way to defuse resentment, reduce litigation, create goodwill, and transform a relationship ruptured by mistrust and disappointment into something stronger and more durable than it ever was before.